date: Sat, 23 Sep 2000 13:18:04 +0100 (GMT Daylight Time) from: F.Berkhout@sussex.ac.uk (Frans Berkhout) subject: Re: Tyndall A4 flier to: m.hulme@uea.ac.uk (Mike Hulme) Mike A few quick comments on the draft text of the flyer: 1. Identify the audience who it's for first - at present it feels a little like it's in 'proposal to NERC' mode. I think the audience is a high-level policy maker or a corporate executive we're tapping for funding. This means it has to be a bit looser and punchier, using active verbs, short sentences and all that (somewhere between the Daily Mail and the Telegraph). You may want a professional writer on the job - how about sending it to Simon Torok? 2. It reads as though it is written for a UK audience - someone in Costa Rica should be able to identify with the flyer if it comes their way. 3. The Tyndall Centre IS organised (column2)(that word 'currently' sounds as though you haven't decided what we are going to do). 4. I think the first column could be one section, and drop the 'vision statement' tag - it sounds a bit 1990s. 5. The subtitle 'integrated research for sustainable responses..' is a bit laboured. How about 'Science. Integration. Sustainability'? 5. I think 'associated activities' sounds a bit arms-length. How about 'Delivering Solutions' or 'Engaging Users'? Also, I think that 'public understanding of science' doesn't quite capture what will be going on. Tyndall will be an important participant in public debate and thereby improve it, rather than the pedagogic PUS model. All the best Frans ------------------------------------------ Dr Frans Berkhout Environment Programme SPRU-Science and Technology Policy Research Mantell Building University of Sussex Falmer Brighton BN1 9RF Tel: +44 1273 877 130 Fax: +44 1273 685 865 Web: www.sussex.ac.uk/spru/environment ------------------------------------------